Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
