what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
