how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
