I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
