I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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