he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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