I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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