Whod you bang
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
