Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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