His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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