there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
