I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
