Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
