just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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