I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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