I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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