3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
