I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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