If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
