Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
