Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
