Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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