doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
