you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
