im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize