your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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