my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
