It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize