omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
