I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
