Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
