According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They took my balls.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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