I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i don't like sucking hair
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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