***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
