dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize