I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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