I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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