3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
