You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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