I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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