A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
