Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
