who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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