9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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