Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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