just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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