if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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