Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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