They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
