I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
