More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
