In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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