there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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