PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
