I wish I could teleport
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
