My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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