i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
